First off, let’s get one thing straight… just because someone doesn’t drink alcohol, doesn’t mean they can’t have, or aren’t, fun.
Some people just don’t like the taste. Fitness fans may struggle to fit the alcohol into their macros. Some people just straight up don’t like it – and that’s fine.
It’s their choice, and your opinion doesn’t matter!
With that in mind, here are 20 things you should never say to someone who doesn’t drink alcohol…
- “You’re no fun.” Alcohol does not make someone “fun.” The person as a whole is “fun” and just because they don’t want to drink doesn’t mean they can’t relax and enjoy themselves.
- “All I want is to see you drunk.” Why? Why is my drunkenness, or lack of, so important to your life?
- “I’m going to make you drink.” Again – why? (Unless it’s that alcohol free Heineken I’ve already mentioned) I’m not going to try and get you to not drink and I’m entitled to my own opinion, as are you! You’ll just end up disappointed and most likely ruin the evening for both you and I.
- “You think I’m a mess, don’t you.” Actually, no. I don’t. I think you’re letting your hair down in a way you enjoy, as am I. YOU probably think you’re such a mess and are projecting your feelings onto me…
- “You think you’re better than me.” Eh… no. You like to drink. I don’t. Alcohol is no reflection on your moral standing.
- “You’re totally missing out.” What, waking up the next day with a blinding headache, sick taste in my mouth and fuzz on my tongue? I’m ok, thanks.
- “I’m going to buy you a drink anyway.” You’re too kind, but please save your money and buy yourself a chippy on the way home.
- “Don’t you want to know what it’s like?” If I did, I’d try it! In fact, I probably have in the past so don’t just assume I haven’t. Maybe I just didn’t enjoy the experience and that’s what stops me now!
- “You must hate being here.” I must hate being with all my friends having fun? No, if I did, I’d leave.
- “Oh please, please, please, please, pleeeeease try a beer.”
- OK – have you any of that new Heineken 0.0 Lager beer? I hear it’s brilliant! Alcohol free, made with natural ingredients and a perfectly balanced taste?Apparently Heineken have been developing it for years to make sure the same malty taste and refreshing notes of their classic beer remain, and they’ve finally succeeded!Oh, and did you hear – Muscle Food are including FREE SAMPLES of it in their orders so I’ll definitely have one of those please…
- “So what do you do if you don’t drink?” I do exactly the same as you just without a beer or overpriced cocktail in my hand.
- “You’re scared, aren’t you?” Of a beverage? Puh-lease! I’m scared of how much your happiness depends on my drinking…
- “Oh, we thought you’d be bored so didn’t invite you.” Gee – thanks. You’re my friends, of course I want to spend time with you. So what if I don’t neck the Prosecco at the same time?
- “I swear I don’t normally drink this much.” Honestly – I don’t care if you do. I’m not judging you! You’re free to make your own choices.
- “You’re sooooo boring.”Why can’t you just accept that I don’t like drinking alcohol? Are you really that concerned about your cool factor? Do you think my uncool non-drinking self is going to reflect badly on you? I’m so sorry, quick, hand me the shots.
- “Are you religious?” What if I am? Oh wait – is that uncool too? I might not be… I just like keeping you guessing…
- “Live a little.” I am, thanks.
- “You must have all the gossip.” You know… That’s literally the only reason why I don’t drink. So I can be the keeper of secrets for you all. Then, if you really annoy me, I’ll blackmail you with them. Yes, that MUST be why I don’t drink alcohol…
- “Just a sip…” Seriously, I thought this peer pressure thing was meant to end when we finished school.
- “You’re pregnant.” (This one is for the ladies) Am I? My goodness, that’s a surprise. I didn’t know! How far along am I?